Less than 2 weeks before my mother passed, my dinner friend the one that had kidney cancer died. She was the one that set up the whole cottage weekend. The Tuesday after our weekend, she went into the hospital for pain management. Then she went to a palliative/hospice place. Then she went into just hospice.
While we had a good time when we were at the cottage, there were a few times that were heartbreaking. When we got there the first day she slept the whole time until Saturday morning. Saturday, she was like a different person and then she was a little shaky in the evening. Sunday the day we were going to leave, she decided we should go out to breakfast. We all got dressed. One friend went to get the vehicle. I and another friend started helping our friend go to the steps. She put one foot on the step and collapsed. I had to run into the cottage and get a kitchen chair. We put her on it and had to carry her back in. We decided to not go out. When it was time for us to go home, one of the gals called the main place and asked for a maintenance person to come in case we needed help. Sure enough, when our friend got to the first step again she collapsed. Luckily, the guy came and helped get her up the steps and into the vehicle. It was so sad.
When I think of every thing she went through over the months, I wonder which is better going quick like my mom or like her where you have a chance to say whatever needs to be said to the person. And then I think probably neither.