The quieter you become the more you can hear ~ Ram Dass

Friday, June 29, 2012

Mary #15

If anyone does Saturday Centus you might somewhat remember this story started as a centus.  In  June of 2010, I wrote a few chapters on Mary and then stopped.  I had so much to write about her, writing weekly for centus wasn't enough.  I then wrote and wrote until I had over 30,000 words so far.  In writing it though as I got further and further my original premise somehow got blown out of the water, ha, ha. I stopped writing her story in March of 2011.   I still haven't quite figured out how I'm going to work this out but I thought I would put out what I have so far.   Please remember this is a really rough draft and when I wrote it, I had no chapters.  Before I decided to put this on the blog I had to go back and figure out where I could make them.  I would suggest this is a terrible way of doing it lol.  The first chapter started on March 23rd, 2012.


As she started to read the inside cover that had writing, she could feel her tears starting to come.  

"Mary, to our darling daughter who was a gift to us from heaven. I started writing these diaries a few years ago to explain some things that were too painful when you were little to talk about. I had planned on giving it to you one day myself but in case something happened and you got it when I passed on, I decided to write this to tell you I'm sorry I wasn't able to give it to you in person.  I hope you find comfort and joy in my words.  Love, Ma.

Mary had a strange feeling and closed the book.  Comfort and joy Mary thought.  I feel nothing but dread.  She decided she would take a bath before reading more.  She went upstairs and soaked in the tub clearing her mind of all thoughts. 

After a while Mary noticed it was pitch black outside and decided to get out of the tub.  She went to her bedroom and it was 9 already.  She hurried into pajamas, re-did her ponytail and went downstairs. 

She went into the kitchen, got a glass of wine and went to the sofa.  Again, she looked at the front of the book with the puzzling words.  Then she re-read the writing on the front inside cover and turned to the first page.  There was a small picture of her when she was a baby.  It said "Mary" and then another picture of a baby that looked just like her but it said "Sherry" under it.  Sherry, Mary thought what the heck? 

Then she read the paragraph under the pictures.  

"Mary there is no easy way to say this but when you were born you were a twin.  Yes, you had a sister that we named Sherry but she died immediately. There was nothing they could do for her.  Since you were born premature, you had to stay in the hospital for about two months.   We had Sherry cremated and while you were still in the hospital we took her back to West Virginia and buried her right next to where our graves will be.  As you can see, you were identical twins.  I know this must be a shock but we were heartbroken.  As you got older, a couple of times I talked to your Pa about telling you about Sherry but he wouldn't have it.  It was the only time me and your Pa ever argued.  I told him I would agree but I would write it down and some day you would know about her either when he passed and I would tell you, or after we both passed and you could read about it and he agreed.  I'm sorry Mary." 

Mary slowly closed the book.  She had a sister...who died...that no one ever told her about.  Mary didn't know what to do.  Should she cry, scream, yell.  She had a million thoughts running through her head.  She remembered being at her Ma and Pa's funeral and vaguely remembered seeing a stone with the name Sherry Jenkins but didn't notice the dates.  She just thought it was one of her Pa’s relatives but it was her baby sister.  

She went back into the recesses of her mind to think if she heard her Ma or her Pa ever utter the name Sherry.  Suddenly, she remembered something and went running upstairs.  She went to the door up to the attic and went up the steps.  All in a neat little pile were boxes of ornaments for the Christmas tree.  She started opening them until she found what she was looking for.  Her Ma had made Angel Ornaments when she was little and embroidered each kids name on the front of them but there was one that had no name.  Mary always just thought her Ma had just made an extra one.  Mary pulled that one out and looked all over it.  Finally, she pulled the hair up on the angel and in very small letters that could hardly be seen it said Sherry.

Mary sat on the attic floor with the angel in her hand stunned for a long time.  Finally, she got up with the angel still in her hand and slowly made her way out of the attic and down the steps to the living room sofa. 

Lulu snuggled up to her on the couch and Mary said, "Lulu I think I made a bad mistake coming home.  Instead of coming to terms with my life, it is becoming more complicated.  I have half a mind to pack up my stuff and just leave and not tell anyone just the way I came.”  Lulu purred. 

Her phone started ringing.  "Mar" Johnny said.  "I'm sorry it's so late but I'm going to have cancel dinner for tomorrow night.  I just got done talking to Sandy and she asked me to come over for dinner and I said okay.  I hope you’re not mad.”

"No, that's okay.  You go and have a good time.  We'll do it another night.  I was just getting ready for bed so I'll talk to you later, okay?”

“Good night, Mary” and they hung up.

She had forgotten that Johnny was supposed to come over.  Thank heavens, something came up.  She didn't think she could face anyone right now. 

She turned the lights off, laid back down on the sofa and pulled up her grandma's afghan.  As she lay, she looked over at the coffee table and there was just enough moonlight coming in that she could see Sherry's angel.  She remembered asking her Ma one time, if she could have a sister and her Ma had told her that she couldn't have any more children. "Ma and Pa, I wish you would have told me" and she cried herself to sleep.    

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