The quieter you become the more you can hear ~ Ram Dass



Saturday, June 19, 2010

Saturday Centus #7

It's time for Saturday Centus.  We are given a prompt and then have to come up with 100 words or less not counting the prompt.  You can participate until next Saturday.  So, why don't you join us.  If not try to go and read what everyone comes up with.  There are some really wonderful writer's on it.  It's at Jenny's blog. 
The prompt is in bold.
 
Mary decided she  needed to go back to help clear things out.  Her brothers couldn't understand why she never came back.  Why would they, she thought.  I never told anyone what happened.  As I sat in front of my childhood home, I was transported back to the first time I saw him. I was coming into the house after doing my chores...  


It was Fathers Day, 1984, when I heard that voice in the hallway. 
 
The new family had come to celebrate with us. Since they came from the city, Ma and Pa were happy to show them country hospitality. 
 
"Mar, are you all right " my brother said from outside my car.   
 

16 comments:

Cheryl said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cheryl said...

This was unsettling because it felt so real. I hope this is pure fiction.

My name is PJ. said...

Yeah - that's what I want to know- is it a true tale?

Eerie, unsettling......GOOD JOB!

Sue said...

This is so well done. Without many clues, you told a whole story.

Chilling.

=)

mbkatc230 said...

This is really well done Viki. Few words, but there is an entire backstory that is understood if not written. Kathy

Claudia Schlottman said...

I came away from this with an eerie, almost voyeuristic unease. Well done.

Cathryn said...

Chilling is right--I really want to see the rest of your writings!

Jo said...

well ... this is really unsettling ... really well done ...

easternsparkle said...

Got some very eerie feelings with this one - hope you get a chance to elaborate, well done!

Tracy said...

Is it true Viki? well written . Hope today is ok for you

Vicki said...

Ummm, ya, like everyone else I hope it's just a story. If so, well done! If real.....

jeff campbell said...

Well done, although I seem to be clueless...would someone clue me in...I am intrigued...Peace and blessings

Tina said...

This is for Jeff: Don't know if this is what Viki intended, but what I read is that there was some sort of family blending going on. She got a new step-brother who "didn't treat her well". Now it's much later, she's remembering, and it's the first time she's been back since she escaped. Viki- this was awesome. Even if I'm wrong, know that you conveyed a mood and sinister one. Judging by the comments, I don't think I'm too far off. Please let me know?

Christy said...

Oh, I can feel the underlying unease with this one. Excellent!!! I want to know more.

Tgoette said...

Really well done! You give us just enough detail to imagine the bigger picture with such clarity. Awesome!

Jenny said...

This felt creepy. I loved it. Is the step-brother a perv? That's what I felt but I could be way off base.

Really, really different use of the prompt Viki.